Craig’s Crag

Note: This post should actually be read *after* the one that follows it.

my.horoscope.com
Actively express your thoughts today, Aquarius. You’ll find that a great deal of information needs to be exchanged. You have the power to deliver a strong, thoughtful message to others, so don’t give up this opportunity to exercise your acute mind. You may also find people to be rather argumentative, but don’t let this keep you from expressing your true thoughts on the matter at hand.

Interpretation
Huh? What is this crap? How is this foretelling anything!? This is just bumpkin advice bundled with a bit of ego stroking. Hey, pop-quiz. Who out there feels they are able to deliver a strong thoughtful message to others once in awhile? Just raise your hand…I’ll count. Hmm, looks like damn near everyone to me. Well except for you, the girl with Tourettes shouting in the corner. You’re excused.

I love the last couple lines as well. People might get argumentative if you express your true thoughts. No. Way. I’m disappointed my.horoscope.com. Very disappointed.

astrology.com
It’s important that you treat yourself right today — even if that makes someone else feel left out! Your energy is a little tapped right now, so it’s harder than usual to help others when they need it

interpretation
Damn straight. It’s about time I start I doing the ‘me first’ stinking thinking instead of all those non-Aquarian friends I’ve been helping these last two weeks. Between their selfish nature and the constant distractions at work they cause, I could use a little me time. Calgon, take me away!

Congrats astrology.com, you win this week.

www.dailyhoroscopes.com
Oh oh. This site doesn’t seem to load tonight. I wonder if Christine has run out of fortune cookie fortunes? Hmm. Most likely it’s just a technical issue with the site or provider. Well I guess I’ll just do my own fortune for Christine…in haiku.

Fortune didn’t read,
You should buy a U.P.S
Servers have no sign.

PS: For the non-computer folk out there, a UPS is an ‘Uninterruptable Power Supply’ It’s one of those big boxy things with heavy lead batteries we hook up to our servers. If power is lost (due to a storm, etc), the servers automatically start to run off the UPS until the power comes back on or we think of some other solution.

A few weeks ago I had a talk with someone who was a firm believer in the accuracy of Horoscopes. He was quite convinced they really worked and that my skepical attitude towards them was due to a ‘closed mind’. So I decided to start reading a few Horoscopes each week offer my opinion on them. After a couple weeks I kind of enjoyed writing about them to friends via email, so I decided to do it as a weekly blog post.

This first entry details the first two weeks:

Aquarius (my.horoscope.com)
You might find that others are adopting a bit of a “me first” attitude that doesn’t quite sit right with you, Aquarius. You may need to knock on their door, wake them up, and say, “Hey, what about everybody else?” Try not to whine as you deliver this message. A desperate-sounding attitude will get you nowhere. Be friendly and jovial in your approach and the world will be at your feet.

Interpretation: Wow. Not only do I need less pretentious friends, I have to take the role of a insipidly gleeful and benevolent counselor to set them straight. It’s also clear that as an Aquarius I have the god-given right to judge my non-aquarian friends and decide whether their attitude is sufficiently proper to avoid my “gentle” corrections. Should I do this successfully, I shall rule the world (along with, I imagine, all the other Aquarii that successfully chastise their self-serving friends). I like this horoscope greatly.

Aquarius (Astrology.com)
My browser crashed while trying to view my horoscope at astrology.com.

Interpretation: This is a bad bad bad sign. I’m calling in from work and locking myself in my apartment today.

Aquarius (www.dailyhoroscope.com)
You do your job and others do their job–progress. This afternoon you may be asked to exchange ideas and problem-solve with some of your co-workers. This is a time of great mental activity and heightened communication with others. Intellectualism and the exchange of ideas have a special appeal to you. You are full of wit and sharp insights. This could be a time for real breakthroughs in the idea department. You are in top form when it comes to mental activity. You may have opportunities today to be with young people, perhaps guiding young people. There is a chance to understand those around you and to have a special time with someone you love. There are good feelings and a sense of harmony.

Interpretation: CHARLATAN ALERT! This is pure drivel. The first half of this so-called omen is nothing more than a description of what anyone with a job does on a day to day basis. In fact the first sentence would make an excellent title for a children’s book about work. As far as the middle part, well I am always full of wit and sharp insights…so one point for the astrologer. But then it goes off talking about having opportunities with young people and that they’ll be good feelings and harmony. I think the author of this horoscopes ordered several hundred Chinese fortune cookies, ate the cookies then put all the fortunes in a hat. Each day she draws four or five from the hat and strings them together for her mystical ‘prognostication’. Stay away from this author (some tart named Christine).

Week 2

Horoscope (Horoscope.com)
Today you’re likely to be in just the right place at the right time to meet the right person. You’re overdue for a lucky break and probably not expecting it. You may start the day in a restless and frustrated state of mind, Aquarius, but whatever happens will catapult you out of it. Be prepared – this transition may involve vast changes in your life, in the long run if not immediately

Interpretation:
Hmmm, this starts out great. I like the fact that the 680 million Aquarii in the world are going to all meet the right person today. But the right person for what? It doesn’t really say. Shit, I’m all for meeting the right person for love or personal fortune, but what if it turns out my ‘right person’ today is the right person for a colonic? I’m not sure I want to meet that person….ever. I agree with the second sentence. All us Aquarius’s have been getting screwed lately, about time we get a lucky break. That last sentence though is a bit disappointing…this astrologer must like to hedge his/her bets. ‘in the long run if not immediately’…doesn’t leave much to chance does it?

Horoscope (Astrology.com)
Your friends need you now more than ever — though they may not know how to ask for help. Reach out and see what you can do for those in need, and rack up some positive karma for later

Interpretation
Hey! My browser didn’t crash while trying to read my Horoscope this week! Guess I can unboard my windows and come outside now.
Geez, what is up with the friends all us Aquarii make? Last week we needed to chastise them for their ‘me first’ attitudes and this week they need us for something they can’t even conceptualize into a request for assistance. I also have issue with the last part of this. ‘Racking up’ positive karma for later is a myth. You can’t get positive karma if you do something expecting to be ‘rewarded’ for it later. That’s just stealth selfishness. Besides it’s not like karma comes from a vending machine and you can just put it in your pantry. Karma has its own agenda and you get it when it decides you get it.

Horoscope (Dailyhoroscope.com)
A friend in the workplace may often seek your advice. You are able to cut through the red tape and get at what is beneath and behind a problem. This may be a good time to help this person to learn his or her own problem-solving techniques and to become more confident. You are a good teacher and this process should be a lot easier than constantly being distracted from your own work. You are all heart . . . you will be pleased to see others become independent. Children, animals and all creative work get top billing this afternoon and you may find yourself sitting with family or a friend?s child. Have a goodie bag ready that is age appropriate with some surprise for each child tucked inside and you will have a happy time with the visit.

Interpretation:
Oh oh, the charlatan Christine is pulling her fortune cookie fortunes out of the hat again. What is this rambling, disjointed ‘fortune’ really trying to tell me? Let’s see:

Someone at work may often (or by definition, may not often) seek my advice today. If this person does ask me for advice, I should teach him how to handle their own problems themselves (this person is starting to sound a lot like one these ‘friends’ all us Aquarii seem to have).

The next two sentences seem to contradict themselves. I’m all heart and want to see this person independent, but apparently I’m also annoyed by them constantly distracting me from my work. So am I doing this out of the good of my heart or am I doing this because they are bugging the crap out of me? Apparently I’m annoyed enough to be happy to help them to get them to stop annoying me.

Then she pulls a new fortune from the hat and we do a complete non sequitur into something about children and animals and how I may (and once again by definition, may not) be sitting with a friend and his/her progeny. Since she doesn’t tell me what the age of this child will be, I need to carry around about 6 or 7 different ‘goodie bags’ each aimed at a different age group so I’ll be sure to have one that’s age appropriate.

Got to hell Christine. You snake oil scam artist.

PS: Christine also needs an editor as she’s mistyped “friend’s” in the second to last sentence as “friend?s”.

Every Wednesday night, The Bomb Shelter hosts Milwaukee’s premier beer tasting club, The Sud’s Club. The Sud’s Club has been meeting every Wednesday night at The Bomb Shelter since the bar’s inception just over a year ago. The club tends to focus on a specific genre or family of beer each week and offers one full beer during the tasting and then samples of 7 or more beers throughout the night. The club costs $5 to join, which get’s you a serialized membership card along with a tasting card you can use to track and comment on the beers you’ve tasted, and then $5 for any week you go to a tasting.

The Club has a rich diversity in it’s membership, ranging from complete beer tasting novices to brewmasters from several of Milwaukee areas microbreweries, so new comers should not feel at all intimidated and beer aficionado’s will find plenty of others with comparable experience to compare notes with. The club has been quite successful with over 350 members, and more who sign up each week.

The club has been successful. These are the tracking cards current members use to document the beers they taste. They return the cards to the bar after the tasting and get the same card back each time they come to a tasting

On weeks where the club does not focus on a genre of beer (Stouts, Porters, Ales, Belgian Style, etc) it will generally focus on a particular Brewery…usually a micro hosted by The Owner, Brewmaster or Representative of said Brewery. Some past meetings I have attended have included Left Hand Brewery in Colorado, Summit Brewery in St Paul, Sprecher Brewery from Milwaukee, and Goose Island Brewery in Chicago.

These meetings tend to be my favorites as there are always interesting stories to learn such how the owner started the brewery or how the brewmaster stumbled upon their current best selling beer’s recipe. During Left Hand’s visit I found out about the Indian heritage the Brewery acknowledges by the different Indian blanket pattern found on the label of each of it’s beers. I had tried and became a regular drinker of several Left Hand beers before finding this out and had never noticed the blanket pattern on their bottles.

In all instances though, the club primarily serves as a means to educate all levels of beer drinkers. When I first started going to the club I couldn’t tell you what the difference between a pilsner and ale was, or what characteristics might separate a porter from a stout. I also did not understand what ‘hoppy-ness’ meant or how different types of yeast might give citrus or floral highlights to beers that originally I would have attributed to fruits being added during the brewing process.

Perhaps the most rewarding aspect the club has done for me is that it has vastly expanded the types of beer I enjoy. Before attending the club I was pretty much a straight Irish stout man. Now though, I can enjoy a good hefeweizen, Red, or Porter, and have recently developed a keen enjoyment of ‘hoppier’ beers such as India Pale Ales. I’m even beginning to be able to identify the speficic type of hops that may be put in a particular beer…something I thought I would never be able to do when I first attended the club (many beers all tasted the same to me back then).

This Wednesday the club featured home brews. Including several from first time home brewers who were inspired to try brewing their own beer from attending The Suds Club. Also on the roster that night was the brewing of The Bomb Shelter’s second home brewed beer – An American Pale Ale that would include home grown hops from one of the Sud’s Club members. Last Fall the Bomb Shelter and Sud’s Club brewed a Porter which was labeled ‘Bomb Shelter Plutonium Porter’ and was handed out to members in early 2009.

The featured beer for the night was from Marc Buttera, owner of Oso Brewery and was Labeled, ‘Rusty Red’. Though this beer is technically not a ‘homebrew’ as Oso is a microbrewery, the brewery itself came about as a result of Marc being a home brewer for over 13 years.

The next beer came from Wally and was a true home brew called ‘Starlight Ale’

Matt and Jenn followed with their first home brewed beer, ‘Toothless Clown’. They then continued for their friend Eric (who could not make it) who had brewed two beers: ‘eSee Honey’ and ‘Off the Clock Bock’. Both of these beers were quite good by my opinion especially for a first attempt.

Finally Mike offered some non-beer home brew in the form of a home brewed Saki and a home brewed Honey Meade.

Eric's 'eSee Honey'

Matt and Jenn explain brewing their first beer, 'Toothless Clown'

Matt Explains Eric's two beers, 'eSee Honey' and 'Off the Clock Bock'

Mike talks about his home brew, 'Starlight Ale'

Eric's 'Off the Clock Bock'

Let the brewing begin!!

Closeup of the home-grown 'Milwaukee Hops' used in the Bomb Shelters Pale Ale.

Mark talks about Oso Brewery and his best seller, 'Rusty Red'

I’ve always been somewhat fascinated by hummingbirds. My parents have several feeders at their trailer up north so I’m used to seeing them hovering around throughout the summer days I’m up there. I have noticed that for such little birds, they really don’t show much fear of people. In fact, if you’re still they really don’t seem to be aware you’re even there and will often feed at a feeder just a few feet away. I’ve never thought of actually trying to feed them by hand though. I may have to try it this summer. Here is some video shot by a guy who has had success at it.

Ruby-throated Hummingbird Eating From My Hand (Part One) from Russ Thompson on Vimeo.

Credit to: LIN CSI where I found this video.

Yesterday I left Milwaukee at 6:25am bound for Portland Oregon to attend a friend’s wedding. Julie (the friend) was born in Oregon, moved to Milwaukee to attend UW-Milwaukee to complete her doctorate in ornithology (or maybe it was biology) before leaving her new-found Milwaukee friends to start her professional career like we all do…working for pennies in a menial, degrading, and ultimately pointless job in a dirty, depressing environment. Except her first job was working towards saving native birds from extinction. In Hawaii. Yeah. My first job after school? Working in Burger King saving fat people from being thin.

Anyway, while Julie was in Hawaii saving animals from extinction and suffering through countless days of soul numbing tropical breezes and insufferable sun-soaked beach-side weekends, Eric, her boyfriend back in Milwaukee was practicing dancing. In particular he was perfecting his Blue-footed Boobie mating dance technique. I have since learned this is somewhat akin to a secret handshake for Ornithologists and for Eric to become part of the club he had two options. Get a degree in Ornithology (in which they teach you the dance as part of your degree), or marry one, in which you’re on your own and need to watch a lot of Animal Planet and youtube videos of Blue-footed Boobies hitting up the chicks…so to speak.

Suffice it to say, Eric’s Blue-footed Boobie dance must have passed mustard as he and Julie were engaged last year. Now, since Julie met Eric in Milwaukee and was working in Hawaii when he proposed, and since Eric was born and worked in Wisconsin, it’s only natural that the wedding be held in Corvallis, Oregon (or so I’m told). Thus yesterday at 6:25 I began my first pilgrimage to a location west of the Rocky Mountains.

This was the first flight I had taken in a few years and the first ever on Frontier Airlines (Headquartered in Denver). As I stumbled bleary-eyed out of the cab arriving at the airport I happened to look down at the shirt I was wearing and suddenly wondered if I’d be calling Julie explaining to her I couldn’t make the wedding because I was being shipped to some secret base on suspicion of being a terrorist. My thought process went something like this…

1. Huh…look at that, I’m wearing my ‘snakes on a plane’ T-shirt, and I’m getting on a plane. That’s kinda funny
2. Hmmm it doesn’t actually *say* ‘Snakes on a Plane’ anywhere on the shirt. It just says MFSOAP which stands for Muther F’ing Snakes on a Plane’ and it has a bunch of symbols above those letters
3. You know, those symbols aren’t the clearest most concise symbols in the world either…Just a crudely drawn symbol of a plane, then a ‘+’ sign, then a crudely drawn symbol of a bunch of snakes which kinda looks like a bonfire, then an ‘=’ sign, and then a crudely drawn symbol of a plane with the snakes on top of it…which looks an awful lot like a burning plane.
4. Oh dear…for someone who isn’t in touch with internet pop culture or a movie buff this shirt looks a lot like it says: ‘Fire” + ‘Plane’ = ‘Plane on Fire’, with some ominous looking letters under it.
5. Well at least TSA employees would need to be well-educated, reasonable, and critical thinking individuals to do their jobs right?
6. Shit. I’m fucked.

I thought briefly about ducking into a bathroom and changing shirts, but at 5am in the morning, no way was I dragging that huge fucking suitcase into a stall and digging for a new shirt. So it was with a growing sense of dread and resignation that I got inline at the security checkpoint and mentally went over how I’d explain what my shirt meant.

‘No ma’am, those are not flames, those are snakes.’
‘No, I am not threatening to bring snakes on this plane’
‘No it’s a movie, called ‘snakes on a plane’
‘You never heard of it? Well yeah, that’s because it bombed in the theatres’
‘No I did not just say I was going to bomb theatres’
*sigh*

In the end the TSA was much more interested in my shoes than my T-shirt and I got through the security pretty easily.

About an hour later I was in the air.

First Time Flyers and Cougars with their Cubs
I had just settled down into my seat (an aisle seat) and hoped that the two unoccupied seats next to me would stay that way. I had perhaps 2 hours of sleep and in my foggy state had failed to ask for a window seat during check-in. Had I asked for and got a window seat, I would be out like a light once the plane took off. However, being in an aisle seat and unable to rest my head against the window and unwilling to rest it on the shoulder of some stranger (how rude!) I was hoping the plane wouldn’t be packed and I’d be able to move over once boarding was complete.

Unfortunately, it was just seconds after I sat down that I spotted her coming down the aisle peering with fearful confusion in the general direction of my row. She was cute, about 20′ish, but she had the telltale signs of a first-time flyer…the confused look, the ashen color on her face, and furtive glances out the windows…it was unmistakable.

Please god…no. I know she’s cute, and I’ve asked you for that before, but not today ok? Please? I’m just too tired.

I tried not to make eye-contact. Experience has shown me that eye-contact with a frightened first-time flyer somehow imparts to them that you are their best friend and are more than happy to play the ‘just keep talking to me about anything so I’m not constantly thinking about dying in a flaming ball of fire and metal’ game. On most days this wouldn’t bother me and I’d be happy to chat, especially if the frightened flyer is a cute 20-something, but I was way too tired and my social energy banks were on empty.

I felt a tap on my shoulder, and stupidly, I looked up. Eye contact. Sigh.

“Excuse me, I’m in the seat next to you…I hope we don’t crash”

Ok, she didn’t actually say the last part, but I could tell she was thinking it.

As she settled into her seat, and began studying the emergency procedures brochure I tried to lay back in my seat and try to get some sleep. I had actually started to relax a bit and begun to drift off when the flight crew started their pre-flight “in-case-we-crash” spiel. The crew had a routine, and it was fairly light-hearted and humorous. They were cracking a few jokes during the process which managed to catch my attention and prevent me from drifting off completely. Then I swore I heard the following sentence, “Finally, Frontier Airlines would like to thank you for choosing to fly with us, and we hope you enjoy your flight with the cougar and her cub”

What? I lazily opened one eye, expecting to see some kind of reaction to that last sentence…but there was nothing. I looked over to the girl next to me and was going to ask her if they had just thanked us for flying with a cougar, but she was still busy counting the number of rows between her and the various exits.

I was pretty damn sure I heard them say it though. At first I thought perhaps I had drifted off and missed something…like the part where they explained they were transporting a cougar and her cub from Milwaukee to the Denver Zoo or something. It was about then I noticed the flight crew consisted of an older woman in her 50′s and a young guy in his mid to late 20′s. No way… I started to laugh to myself…wow, that’s pretty edgy…I can’t believe they’d get away with that, Cougar and her cub indeed. I eventually decided I must have misheard them, but then right before we landed they said it again…’Thank you for Flying Frontier Airlines and we hope you enjoyed your trip with the Cougar and her cub’. I looked around the plane again for reactions to this, but nobody seemed to notice or consider it strange. It wasn’t until my next flight I found out what the Cougar and Cub really meant.

The flight itself was fairly uneventful. The frightened girl next to me would grab the armrest between us suddenly each time their was a bit of turbulence, and finally after about the fourth or fifth time I opened my eyes turned to her and said, “First time flying?”

“No, second time. First time was Denver to Milwaukee, last week”

“Ah, well I’ve noticed this turbulence is making you nervous. Trust me this is nothing. Planes are designed to handle turbulence way way worse than this. When the flight crew straps themselves down, and the turbulence is so bad that things bounce and fly off your seat tray and you look out the window and see the wings of the plane bending up and down like rubber, then you can start to get concerned.”

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Ok. Thanks, I’m just very nervous”

“I know, it’s fine.”, and then I tried to go back to my state of semi-sleep.

I’m guessing it was about 20 minutes later or so when I was woke up by a pretty severe jolt. “Holy crap!, what the??”

The plane was bucking up and down, the crew were strapped in their chairs, and I looked out the window and the wings of the plane were flexing back and forth like rubber.

I was going to turn to her and point out the window and say, “Ok, now this is good turbulence”, but one look at her face told me I’d probably make better use of my time to prepare myself for getting thrown-up upon.

Thankfully the worst of the turbulence only lasted a couple of minutes and she never got sick.

Once we landed in Denver, I finally saw what the Cougar and her cub really was. Frontier Airlines paints a different animal on the tail of each of their aircraft. Ours had a Cougar and her cub on it. Sigh. I liked my original interpretation much better.

Hair Salons in Foreign Locals

After finally arriving in Portland, I got my luggage and went to the rental car office to pick up the car I had on reserve. Another friend of mine, Evyn, was to be the maid of honor and her flight got into Portland from Chicago about 30 minutes after mine, so we decided we’d share the car.

After her flight got in we headed off to Corvallis. Corvallis is a small college town (home of OSU) where Julie’s parents also live. It is about a 90 minute drive form Portland. All the bridesmaids we’re going to be staying at Julie’s parent’s house the first night, so I needed to drop Evyn off there before going to the hotel where I could finally get some actually sleep.

Once we arrived at Julie’s parent’s house Julie requested that I take some hand outs back to the hotel and slide them under the doors of all the bridesmaids and certain female guests staying at the hotel. There was to be a wine tasting party (ladies only) that night and the handouts had directions from the hotel to her Parent’s house on them.

I was really quite tired and having problems concentrating on just exactly what handouts I needed to get to which parties, so I asked Julie to please write down exactly what I needed to do. It was then Evyn turned to me and said, “Wow, your hair is getting kinda long Craig”

Julie looked up and agreed.

It was true. I had a hair appointment scheduled a week before this trip, but I had to cancel it due to an emergency at work. I figured I’d find someplace in town to get a trim and while I was at it I’d get my highlights redone as it had been about 7 weeks since the last time I had them done and I may as well look good for the wedding.

Julie started suggesting salons and places I could go. I was too tired to care or remember any of this I just wanted to get to the hotel, pass out whatever documents I was supposed to pass out and then take a nap.

After getting everything I was to hand out, I said goodbye to Julie, Eric, and Evyn and headed to the Hotel. Once I got there I started talking to the clerk and explaining to him I needed the room numbers of the following guest so that I could slip these directions under their doors. While I was doing this, a line of people was forming behind me and suddenly my cell phone went off. It was Julie.

“Hi Craig, I just spoke to my Mom, she said you could probably get an appointment tomorrow at ‘The Retreat Spa’ for coloring and a cut. it’s on 9th street the same as the hotel.”

Being conscious of the line of people behind me, I just wanted to get Julie off the phone, so I did not write down the name of the salon, but I did make a mental note of it was on 9th street.

Eventually I got a list of room numbers, placed the directions under each of the doors and got to my room. I recalled Julie saying I should probably call for a reservation today if I wanted to hope getting in tomorrow for a haircut. So I pulled out the yellow pages book in the room and started looking through the beauty section. I had completely forgotten the name of the salon told to me just 5 minutes earlier, but I did recall it was on 9th street. So I began looking through all the entries for any with an address on 9th street and found one called , ‘The Golden Key of Hair Design’. It looked like it was just down the street form the hotel. Sweet! I called and asked if they would be able to fit me in tomorrow for a cut and color. They said they had a spot open at 1:30pm. Excellent.

With all my responsibilities now done, I went to bed.

The next day, I looked around town a bit before heading over to The Golden Key. It was a small beauty salon in a strip mall. I walked in and saw a very cute , but very young receptionist who gave me a bit of an odd look as I walked up.

“Can I help you?”

“Yes, I’m here for a 1:30 appointment for a color and cut”

She looked confused for a second, “Oh..last name Kreig?”

“No, first name Craig”

Something wasn’t right here. She was reacting as if something was wrong. Finally she said, “You’re stylist is still with a costumer. it will be about 10 minutes, have a seat”

It was then that I actually looked around the salon and realized why she had been acting so odd. It was filled, wall to wall, with grey-haired little old ladies. Some in curlers, some getting their white-grey hair colored to something that still looked white-grey but somehow I guess isn’t actually white-grey, some sitting in those chairs with the big blow dryers built in, and some getting their hair cut.

Now somewhere in the depths of my brain, the lazy fat dwarf that manages the security center must have woke up and noticed all the red flags going off, because it was right about then I got a good shot of adrenaline delivered to my system.

Being fully awake now, I also noticed that every single one of the hairstylists was also a little old lady, though perhaps only in their 70′s or 80′s. I also noticed I didn’t see any tin-foil or hair color darker than old-lady grey-white, or anything that would lead me to believe they had any idea how to actually color my hair.

I looked for the receptionist hoping, I guess, for a look of pity or understanding, but she was no where to be found. The old fat dwarf in my brain must have found the emergency procedures book because my fight or flight response suddenly kicked in big-time. As I began to mentally prepare what I would say as I ran hellbent out the door, one of the little old lady hairdressers came over to me and said, “Kreig?”

I took a deep breath and meekly replied, “yes?”

“So, you’re here for…um, a color and cut? Hmmm. What color do you like?”

“Black with light highlights”

“Black highlights? oh dear…”

“No, Black hair, light highligths”

“I think, maybe there’s been some kind of mistake…I don’t know how to do highlights.”

I felt like a 100 pound weight had just been lifted from me. “Oh? That’s OK. All I really need is a trim”

“Oh, well I can do that for you”

In the end it turned out OK. I mean how badly can you really mess up a trim. Now truth be told, if I try and spike it, it looks a bit chunky, but overall it’ll be fine.

It’s supposed to me 95 degrees for the wedding tomorrow, though they tell me it’s a ‘dry’ heat. Whatever. I’m wearing a full tux. Trust me, by the end of the day, for me at least, it’s going to be a wet heat.

That’s all for now.

Last night at 11:30pm I held Seether on my lap, she was curled up, her head resting lightly on my right hand while my left hand slowly petted her. I knew she was not afraid, her tail twitching each time I spoke to her in the manner it always did when she was content. Only the halting jerking motion of it belied just how sick she was. I knew it was time.

Just 30 minutes earlier I watched her on my futon next to me. She looked so tired. Her eyes only half open, her head drooping without the strength to lift it. Every few minutes her shallow breathing would change and she’d take a long deep breath and exhale it haltingly. I knew she wasn’t going to make the morning.

I kissed her forehead and told the Dr I was ready. She pushed the syringe and her head slowly slid off my hand. It was over in 6 seconds. She was gone.

It wasn’t fair. She was only 6 years old. She deserved more, but her little body was spent. No more treatments, no more forced feedings, no more needles.

Last weekend I had noticed she wasn’t herself. She had a chronic upper respiratory condition since she was a kitten so she was always sneezing and sniffles were common occurrences. This time however it was clear she had a full blown cold. She had taken to hiding under my computer desk throughout the day and was not there in the hallway to greet me when I’d come home…something she had never failed to do for the last 6 years. So last Monday, I took the morning off from work and took her to the vet.

He told me she was dehydrated which was strange since she had been drinking quite a bit of water lately…though she had not been eating. The vet took some blood work and would have the results the next day. He thought it was possible her cold might be preventing her from smelling her food and she had always been somewhat of a finicky eater. He gave me some anti-biotics for her cold and they gave her some saline under her skin to attempt to hydrate her and we went home.

The next day he called and said there some serious problems with her labs. Her Blood Urea Nitrogen (BUN) level was at 230. Normal is around 20. Her Creatinine was at 16, normal is 2. He said her kidneys were in failure and given the levels he was amazed she was alive and that I needed to bring her in immediately and that I should start thinking about euthanasia.

The only question he had was whether this was due to her ingesting a toxin or if it was a chronic condition. If it was chronic, given her values he said her prognosis was poor. Chronic renal disease in cats is terminal. If it was due to a toxin it was possible some if not all of her kidney function would return if should could make it through the next few days. After another examination and after I stated she had been urinating frequently, the vet told me those were signs of chronic failure…as acute failure usually presents with reduced urination while chronic presents with increased.

CRF (Chronic Renal Failure) is common in older cats. A normal cat’s kidney’s have 70-90% more functionality than the cat needs to remain healthy. Kidney function in cats can degrade for many reasons – age, sickness, genetics, but until they lose 70% or more of the functionality their health is normal. Once that threshold is crossed though, they tend to go downhill very quickly. The vet in his examination said when he felt her kidneys, they were very small…and the most likely explanation is she was just born with smaller than normal kidneys.

I asked if she was in pain. The dr. said that based on what people with kidney failure feel it is believed that cats are not in pain..at least not until their last few moments. They most likely just feel very poorly…akin to a person with a bad hangover. Given this information and the fact she was still somewhat active once roused I opted for treatment.

He cautioned the odds were long and that the disease was terminal…that treatment was to maintain life quality and not a cure, but some cats could go on to live active quality lives for several years. His prognosis for Seether was not so optimistic, with luck she might get a few months of quality time. They would give her intravenous fluids to hydrate her and tube feed her and do what they could to teat the nasal infection.

On Thursday the report was encouraging, she had started to eat on her own a bit and when i went to visit her she was alert, happy, active and though I could tell not 100% there was very much of her old self there in the clinic.

The plan was to keep her until saturday and I could take her home at noon when they closed for the weekend. We would see how she was doing Monday and go from there.

On Saturday I picked her up and could see she was not as active as she was on Thursday. I had hoped that maybe she was just tired from being in the clinic. They took her blood again and the result were not what they had hoped. Her BUN had only dropped to 170 and her creatinine was only down to 11. It was hoped they would have dropped at least twice that.

I would need to give her sub-q’s each day (inject 75ml of saline under her skin to keep her hydrated, giver her some antibiotics twice a day, an anti-acid three times a day, some vitamin B supplements twice a day, and a phosphate binder once per day.

I took her home. She would not eat so I tried to syringe feed her liquid food. She did not like this one bit. By Sunday her nasal condition has cleared up considerably, but she was still not eating. By Monday she was noticeably weaker.

Monday evening I was feeding her via syringe and she was not making as much of a fuss. I thought at first this was a good sign. By 10:30 though I realized it was because she was too weak. Through it all she remained the sweet cat I had known since getting her as a kitten form the Humane Society. She spent all day by my side or on my lap, but by 10:30pm I knew it was over. Her eyes told me all I needed to know, and I knew in my heart she would not make it to the morning. I am forever grateful for the few extra days I had with her and knew my last duty was to make sure she did not suffer in her final hours. I know she did not. She was not afraid, she was not alone, and her last memory was of my hand gently petting her and me softly calling her name.

I wish that would be enough for me, that it would somehow ease the sense of loss and grief but it does not. At least not yet. I know in time it will, but for now I am lost. My little girl is gone.

UPDATE: Some pics of Seether as a kitten. I’ll try and get some pics of her as an adult up soon.

Seether1
Seether2
Seether3

It’s funny how much warmth a single soul can bring
to an otherwise empty home
beginning as a tiny ember
so small, so frail.
But with time and care will build in strength
until its fire casts light into every dark corner
and heat into your bones.

Tonight I came home and the rooms were cold
and shadows bled from the floor
I returned tonight to an empty home
for my little Seether was not there.

Seether, please get well.