NEW YORK, NY – Sony BMG Corp announced today it will be partnering with the Gimbano Company to produce a viable means of copy protection for its products. The recent debacle of Sony’s XCP DRM (Digital Rights Management) software has caused the company to look for an alternative means of copy protection and inside sources say the Gimbano Company has the experience and personal to accomplish this.
Andrew Lack (Sony BMG CEO) stated, “After the whole mess with XCP, we took a good long look at just what copy protection really was about. What we realized, was that we had it all backwards. Instead of preventing people from making copies of their CD’s in case the original becomes damaged, we realized what we needed to do was offer some form of protection for the original CD. Let’s face it, CD’s are actually rather fragile things. That’s when we approached the Gimbano Company.”
Gimbano Company (GmBco) spokesman Vinny ‘Noodles’ Gimbano explained, “Our company has a long and distinguished history in the protection services market. When you’re protected by Gimbano Company, you got the best. When you’re not, well…let’s just say bad things might happen’
Though details have yet to be finalized, the new copy protection service is expected to incorporate RFID technology embeded on all new Sony music CD releases and be fee based. Gimbano Company plans to hire ‘protection agents’ in all major cities through out the US. These agents will be equipted with RFID detectors and will activily monitor and protect CD’s whose owners have signed up.
Gimbano explains, “If our agents detect you with a Sony CD and your protection is upto date, you got nothin’ to worry about. Your CD(s) will be safe from any potentially bad thing that might happen to them…such as them getting caught in a house fire, or stolen by let’s say a mugger…now if you aint paid your protection, well then things might happen….I’m not saying they will, it’s a crazy world out there, but bad things happen every day”
When asked how confident Sony feels consumers will accept the new form of copy protection, Lack responds, “We’ve actually been test marketing this service in the Chicago area for the last month. The results have been encouraging”.
Derek Jimgrouse of Chicago thinks the protection scheme is worthwhile. “Yeah, I like bought the new Switchfoot CD at Best Buy last week, and my friend Brian, bought the new Van Zant CD. They asked us at the register if we wanted to try this new service. I was like, sure…what’s another $5 per CD for peace of mind you know? But my friend was like, f-that and he walks out the store. So we’re walking down the block right, jamming to these def tones right, and this van pulls up, the door opens and this dude with a baseball bat get’s out and just starts wailing on poor Brian’s CD Walkman. I was freaked out man….what was uber cool though was after he like got done with Bri’s walkman, he starts coming to me but then stops. Some OTHER guy comes out from nowhere and is like, ‘Beat it punk, this kids got Gimbano protection’, and the dude from the van just leaves. I was totally impressed by that. Sony’s got their shit together man.”