PROVO – The FBI capped a 6 week long investigation on copyright infringement last night, when they raided the house of suspect Laura McManiss, 26 of Provo, Utah. Agents on the case state they caught the subject in the act of perpetrating the alleged infringement while she was in the shower.
‘She had the latest Madonna CD on and was belting out along to the tune ‘Hung Up’, stated FBI field agent Jason Chadson. ‘We were able to catch most of it on tape before she realized that someone was there and stopped singing and started screaming…at which point we aprehended her.’
The investigation, dubbed ‘Operation Karaoke’, was initiated on request of the RIAA (Recording Industry Association of America). The RIAA has become increasingly concerned about the misuse and illegal reproduction of its intellectual property. RIAA spokesman Brad Buckles said, ‘This has got to stop! First came copying CDs for “friends”, then came downloading MP3s, and now this. The public needs to realize that when they buy a CD they don’t actually buy the music. They are just purchasing a license to listen to the music in any number of strictly restricted settings, situations and devices that we deem fit. At least with copying and downloading the illicit distribution is usually kept to a small group of acquaintances, but this new form of ‘vocal’ reproduction is insidious. This is just giving the music away to any stranger in hearing distance. From what I understand, this girl is a pretty good singer. Now, who’s going to go out and buy a copy of the CD when they can just listen to her sing it for free? No one that’s who.’
When it was suggested that the vast majority of the population lack the vocal talent to sing as well as professional singers, Buckles responded, ‘Well, that’s an even worse scenario. If you heard some out-of-key construction worker singing “Hung Up”, would you go out and buy the CD? Hell no, you’d stay as far away from it as possible.’
A source close to Madonna agrees, ‘Yeah, she’s concerned about this as well. I mean, these imitators, these ‘sing-a-longers’ need to be shown this is wrong. Just because you buy her CD doesn’t mean you have the right to pretend to be Madonna. There is a legitimate concern here too you know. Madonna saw the movie ‘Rock Star’, she knows what could happen if she starts letting fans sing her stuff. A message needs to be sent right now.’
The suspect, looking confused, frightened, and cold, declined to comment other than a request for a bath towel or some clothes and that the ‘people with cameras’ please get out of her bathroom.