As a Guinness drinker and a fan of darker beers in general, The various Miller products (MGD, Lite, etc) have always tasted like water to me, so I couldn’t help but find this story quite funny.
Basically a judge ruled that a man being accused of buying beer for a minor could not be prosecuted because the prosecution could not prove that Miller MGD was in fact beer.
The Judge must be a microbrew or Guinness man. Too bad an appeals court overturned his ruling.
Also ironic is the fact that the judge’s last name is ‘Sprecher’ (as in Sprecher Breweries). Hmmm. Either this story is bogus or it’s a case of delightful coincidence
#1 by Lisa on August 2nd, 2006
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Five years ago an Anheuser-Busch lobbyist in Ohio argued that beers that were over 6 percent alcohol by volume (ABV) weren’t really beers. Beer, according to A-B’s man, is “by definition a low-alcohol beverage, something light you drink after you’ve been out mowing the lawn.” Must cut into sales something fierce in the winter.
Texas law names beers as they see them. The Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission (TABC) recently took a big step into the 19th century by acknowledging that beers such as “porter,” “stout,” and “lager” existed. However, don’t try selling a pale ale in Dallas: Quoted from the supplemental guidance issued by TABC to explain this giant change, “Under Texas law, “ale” is used as a synonym for “malt liquor” and, therefore, is by definition not beer.” That’s right: in Texas, “ale” is not “beer.” Won’t the British be surprised!
Okay, if MGD isn’t beer, and ale isn’t beer, and malt liquor isn’t beer…what is?
Simple. Beer is a grain-based fermented beverage. Period. Is the grain barley, wheat, corn, rye? Don’t care. It’s beer. Is it hopped, spiced, fruit-flavored? Don’t care. It’s still beer. Is it 2 percent ABV, 5 percent, 18 percent, 23 percent? Doesn’t matter. Is it draft, bottle, can? Doesn’t matter. Carbonated, flat, chilled, warm, pale, dark, cloudy, clear…it just doesn’t matter, and if your legislators – or judges – try to say it does, they’re frickin’ idiots! And you can tell ‘em I said so.
Supposedly,
Shawn Putnam, the kid who ratted out the guy who bought him beer? He’d already plead guilty to underage drinking … drinking the MGD that the judge said wasn’t beer. Better get that guy Eshelman’s card, kid. Your lawyer sucks. And you can tell him I said so.
Lew Bryson – Cold Hard Football Facts