Craig’s Crag

Views from the rock; A personal blog with semi-regular original satire.

Archive for category Personal

You Know It’s Hot When:

Jul 17

Posted by Craig in Personal | 3 Comments

  • You come home and your cats are laying in the bathtub
  • You come home and the garage door to your apartment complex won’t open because the motor burnt out
  • You come home to an apartment that is hovering around 88 degree’s despite having the woefully underpowered air conditioner on all day
  • The wax on the 32 oz McDonald’s Coke container you half drank last night and forgot to dump out has melted during the day, causing it to lose any ability to hold liquid and you come home to a nice think syrupy sludge all over your coffee table.

    • Yeah it’s been an interesting day.

    What I’d like to know is what the hell is wrong with cats? I mean, it’s roasting in my apartment, my thermostat says 88 degrees and my cats still want to lay on me. What the hell? Get off of me you little four-legged heat generators.

    I wonder though, since the human body has a lower temperature than a cat does by about two degrees or so, if I actually feel cool to them when it’s this hot. I doubt it, but I can’t think of anything else that would explain why they would still want to lay on me.

    Thankfully, there is a severe thunderstorm on its way, and with it comes a cold front. I love watching thunderstorms and the cold front is 2 days overdue as far as I’m concerned.

    Summerfest Day 3 – Review

    Jul 17

    Posted by Craig in Personal | No Comments

    Day 3 (July 2nd)

    This day started out with Gwenn, Tracey, and myself all meeting at The Monkey Bar. The Monkey Bar had a free shuttle service running from the bar to Summerfest all day long and we all figured it would be nice to have a few cheap drinks and head over in an hour or two.

    Gwenn and I also had some unfinished business regarding who’s the better pool player. I’m happy to report I left for Summerfest leading 9 games to 7.

    Once at the festival grounds Gwenn left for the Nine Inch Nails and Bauhaus show which she had tickets for. So I ended up in a group with Joel, and Tracey, and a few others I was less aquainted with.

    First on the agenda was checking out the Brew City Bruisers! This is a Milwaukee area female roller derby league. Oh yeah! Alot of the interest also stems from the fact some of the girls are friends or involved in the group in some way.

    The show was great, even though it was a bit toned down due to the fact that the track was makeshift and slightly smaller than what they would normally be racing on and the fact that the crowd was at some points just inches from the track. Grace Killy (Anna K), who is one of our ‘gang’ did us all proud with her skating. Unfortunately her team (Maiden Milwaukee) lost their match.

    The turnout for the exhibition was amazing and the place was standing room only. Hopefully the interest generated will carry over and they’ll get good crowds when their inaugural season officially begins this August.

    After the roller derby exhibition, we headed on down to check out Soul Asylum. After listening to a few songs I went to go to the bathroom and then got some food, when I got back some of our group had left as I guess there had been some drama while I was gone. Since the primary reason I went to the fest this day was to see the Bruisers and then Joan Jett, I excused myself and headed down to see if I could get a good seat for the Joan Jett show.

    While looking for a seat I found the part of the group that had left the Soul Asylum show while I was away.

    Bands I saw:

    Soul Asylum: I only stayed for a few songs, but I enoyed what I saw. I had forgotten just how many songs had gotten air play from this band, and they sounded pretty good. Had Joan Jett not been playing at another stage immediately after Soul Asylum would be ending, I would have stayed for the whole show.

    Joan Jett: I consider her a living legend in plain ol ‘Rock and Roll’. She is certainly a pioneer in the Riot Grrrl/Grrrl Rock movement and nobody tours harder year in and year out. I had never seen her before so I made it a point to see her this year. I was not dissapointed. The band sounded tight and she was in great form. I think she’s got the best rock scream of all the women rockers. Very gutteral, yet high energy.

    Summary of day 3(star rating out of 5)

    People Watching ****
    Music *****
    Food ***
    Personal Drunkeness **
    Observed Drunkeness *****
    Overall ****

    Warm Fuzzies

    Jul 16

    Posted by Craig in Personal | 1 Comment

    I just saw the coolest internet video I’ve seen in a long long time. Check it out here.

    Well done. With all the crap going on in the world, video’s like this one are little treasures.

    Summerfest – Day 2 review

    Jul 14

    Posted by Craig in Music, Personal | No Comments

    Friday June30th.

    This was the day of Greg’s Summerfest party. I had taken the day off of work and got down to the party about 1pm. Greg’s place is about 8 blocks from the summerfest gate which made it a ideal place to park and hang out for while, not to mention Greg’s a great guy and throws awesome parties.

    M&I bank had a promotion that day for M&I customers. From 3pm – 4pm the first 500 people who showed their M&I bank cards at the promotional tent would get a free ticket. So, at around three a bunch of us went down, got our ticket, entered Summerfest, got a re-entry wristband and then went back to the party.

    Around 6pm Greg announced it was time to go to Summerfest for real, so everyone started heading down. Being part of a large group at Summerfest is a pet peeve of mine. Not that I don’t like people, it’s just that it’s impossible to do anything when you’re part of a large group at Summerfest. You need to poll opinions on who wants to see what, where we should all go right now, and even once a descision has been made getting the group moving to the destination can be like pulling teeth. Inevitably, once the group does get moving, someone in the group will run into someone they know, which means everyone stops. Wash, rinse, repeat. End result, 30 minutes to walk from one end of the grounds to another.

    I was supposed to meet a girl there but I was already about 2 hours later to the grounds than I had told her the previous day, but after a few text messages I found she was at JoJo’s Martini Tent. Her friend had an in to a private party at one of the stages but they had to get over there soon. Already being late and with a large group by the time we got to JoJo’s she had to leave for the party. Ah well.

    Once at JoJo’s my friend, Gwenn, decided to try a Martini and got a Cosmo (I think). I was no longer in any shape to drink alcohol (having had more than I needed at Greg’s party), so I didn’t try it when she offered everyone a sample. I was actually in danger of dropping out for the day, as the drinking at the party was catching up to me and I was feeling very sluggish. I figured I needed to get walking and start drinking soda, so Gwenn and I left the main group and headed down to the US Cellular stage where Blue October would be playing later that night.

    The walk and switching to soda’s did me a world of good and I caught my second wind shortly after we got to the stage. Some band called , ‘As Fast As’ was playing. Odd band, that seemed to favor Beatles’ covers along with some indie-esque rock originals. All in all not bad.

    The US Celluar stage had a huge video board on one side of the stage that you could text message. You’d call the number on the board and then your text message would be displayed to the crowd. So Gwenn I both sent a few messages. It was fun watching them, though someone must have been screening them as I never saw anything with swearing or inappropriate content. Considering the quality and size of the video board I was very dissapointed to see it was ONLY used for the text messaging as it would have made for a great video board in conjuction with a camera to show the bands.

    Blue October was a band I knew nothing about until after I started researching this year’s headliners. My friend had their latest CD so I borrowed it and was very impressed by them. They’re a hard band to pin down. Definitely alt-rock, but they have a violin/keyboard player which really gives the band a greater range than you would expect from a typical alternative band. Their front man, also has that magical quality called presence, and had it in spades. You simply just could not keep your focus off of him. The violinist would do a little solo, or you’d look at another band member for a second but then you’re focus would always go back to their singer. I remember trying to figure out just what it was, or what it is about certain front men/women that gives them this quality while watching the band. Was it how he was dressed? His voice? demeanor? Probably a combination of all these. Not many people have it. Bono is one I think, Freddy Mercury certainly had it, Mick Jagger to an extent has it. So did the lead singer of Blue October. I probably didn’t hurt that the show was great either.

    Bands I saw:

    As Fast As ***
    Blue October *****

    Summary of day 2(star rating out of 5)

    People Watching ***
    Music ****
    Food **
    Personal Drunkeness *****
    Observed Drunkeness ***
    Overall ****

    The Art of Knowing When to Quit (or admit you’ve made a mistake)

    Jul 13

    Posted by Craig in Personal | 2 Comments

    Wow. I must admit I feel a little bit sorry for this guy, but then again, it’s his own fault.

    It also illustrates the primary reason I’ve made a conscious effort not to use this blog as a pulpit for politcal views; It just invites ad hominem attacks and flame wars.

    A few days ago ‘Pete’ (the owner of the blog in question), posted this article on his blog. (WARNING: Graphic abortion picture appears on that page).

    Anyone who is familair with ‘The Onion’ and the content that publication produces, would immediately know it’s not a good idea to use quotes from an Onion article as a means to support your position on anything, let alone a position as volatile as abortion. This is, of course, due to the fact that The Onion is a satirical publication. Nothing published in it (other than its music and movie review section) is real.

    Pete obviously did not know this, and when he came across an Onion editorial titled, ‘I’m Totally Psyched About This Abortion’, he penned the article I linked to above on his blog as a response.

    Now I realize not everyone is familiar with The Onion and it’s satirical nature. Even the mainstream media (AP, The Washington Post, etc) has been fooled into using Onion articles as sources in articles in the past. It happens, and when it does, a responsible publication or author will publish they were fooled, wait out the inevitible few pot-shots from readers and then get on with their blog, hopefully a bit wiser for the experience.

    Not Pete.

    He first decided he’d try and post a response picking apart the satirical article, ‘putting the satire right back at them’. Now, satire is meant to make a point, and if you disagree with this point you should feel free to argue it, but if you do, it’s best to formulate your argument in such a means that it attacks the point the satire is making, not the satire itself. This is because satire by definition is hyperbolistic, exaggerated, and illogical. It makes it’s point by being ridiculous. This fact was apparently lost on Pete.

    Fine. I still don’t really have a problem with the guy. He got caught in an embarrassing situation on a public forum and isn’t very familair with satire. Once again, at this point you should just cut your losses. Post a statement saying you were fooled into thinking the article in question was legitimate and get on with your blog.

    Not Pete.

    He now claims the first entry was a joke he posted while full aware of the satirical nature of the Onion article. Ok, but why would you source a satirical article in a ‘joke’ article and not make it clear that the source was satire? I’m sorry Pete, but that’s a pretty poor attempt at a joke. The original article is the one I linked to above, this one is the ‘It was all a joke’ article. Not only does he claim the first article was a joke, but he now claims the ‘Intellectual left’ is out to get him. He backs this by saying that he had to close down his comment section due people posting personal information on him and the fact that the ‘Intellectual left’ can’t leave a comment which doesn’t consist of anything more than a string of cuss words.

    At this point I still feel sorry for the guy, although he’s also rapidly beginning to get my ire up. Having seen my share of flame wars on blogs I know how ugly they can get at times. Also, posting a bloggers personal contact info as a means to further your point or position in a flame war is wrong. There is no excuse for it.

    So I’m feeling a bit sorry for the guy, however, I’m also angry over his ‘Intellectual-left’ comment. This is not due to the fact that I would probably be catagorized as falling under that definition, I would have been just as angry had he said ‘conservative right’. It’s a cop out phrase and does nothing more than create a stereotype in the minds of your readers. When you start using labels such as that as reasons or causes you are no longer in the relam of fact, and have now entered spin, opinion, and bigotry.

    I decided to look at the comments myself to see just how bad they were. I guess Pete thought that if he disabled them, no one would be able to see them. Not true Pete. Once you put something on the internet it’s damn hard to get it off. If the data isn’t still actually on your webserver, it’s probably been archived by Google or some other web service. The end result is the comments were easy to find and read, and holy cow are there alot of them. Below are links to them.

    http://www.haloscan.com/comments/turnstile/115271854178491623/
    http://www.haloscan.com/comments/turnstile/115219671206889457/
    http://www.haloscan.com/comments/turnstile/115259322998005708/
    http://www.haloscan.com/comments/turnstile/115266379145170133/

    After reading these almost all sympathy I had for this fellow has left me. The majority of these comments are at least intelligent, and while many are calling him an idiot, they are not malicious about it. In fact many of them are pleading for him to please just admit he made a mistake. It’s kind of sad to read them really.

    Truth can be very hard to discern in this 21st century world. The signal to noise ratio tends to be overwhelming at times. But I think there is a lesson to be learned here.

    1. With the internet comes a potential vast audience, and with that comes accountability. If you do publish something stupid, it’s best to just admit it, weather the embarrassment and then bravely soldier on.
    2. If you publish something stupid or incorrect on the internet don’t try and hide it. Someone will find it.
    3. Finally, though I do not condone the publication of personal information as a ‘tactic’, if you are going to be blogging you need to realize this information can easily be found. The more controversial you intend to be, the more you’d better be prepaired to have the information eventually surface.

    Summerfest Day 1 – review

    Jul 12

    Posted by Craig in Music, Personal | No Comments

    Ah yes, The first day of Summerfest (June 29th, 2006). This was going to be the first day of my primary summer vacation. I had taken Friday off, and with the 4th of July on a Tuesday, that meant I had a 5-day weekend ahead of me.

    Also, Carbon Leaf was playing this day. This was probably the band I was most excited about seeing. I had seen them at Irishfest a few years ago and became an immediate fan. They have changed their sound a bit since then (probably partially due to the fact they were signed to a major label since then) and have since moved abit away from their celtic influences, but they’re still damn fine songwriters and musicians.

    So, I’m driving home from work and on the way I flip to the AM news station and find out that the Summerfest grounds were without power due to a primary transformer which fed the grounds having blown up a few hours earlier. I’m not sure how most people who were planning on going down would react to this, but as far as I was concerned this news only made me want to get down there all the sooner. I love watching or being in the midst of surreal or unusual circumstances, and this seemed to fit the bill…A music festival with no power. I had to get there as quickly as I could.

    So I went home and changed and headed on down. I parked about 8 blocks away from the grounds (for free) and started to walk down. I was about 3 blocks away when things started to feel surreal. I could see tons of peoples milling about, coming and going, but there was no music, no lights, no sounds. Very odd!

    Luckily I had stopped at an ATM on the way home from work and gotten some cash, because as I went up to buy a ticket, they had a sign saying due to the loss of power, no VISA or debit cards would work. So I bought my ticket and went in.

    I noticed that no one was on the sky glide, so assumed that there must have been a backup generator or something which allowed them to get the people off it, as it wasn’t running at the moment. I was also thankful that beer does not need power to be tapped. I went and got a beer and then took a slow walk down to the new Miller Stage.

    The Miller Stage had been torn down over the winter and rebuilt, doubling its capacity from about 5,000 people to 10,000. It also added a for-rent party area stage-right and above the stage as well as adding a large video projection screen on each side of the stage. It was a huge improvement over the old stage. There was also a marching band (I believe the UW band) near the stage entertaining the crowd. What struck me most was how little complaining, bitching, or anger I saw. Everyone seemed to be taking the lack of power and music in stride. The marching bands (and there were more than one) on the grounds played at several stages, and the people just hung out, danced to ‘On Wisconsin’ and various other 80′s done marching band style hits and drank their beers.

    About an hour after I had been there (So about 6pm or so), an announcement came over the PA system (which apparently had backup power) that they expected the power to be fixed shortly. Sure enough, about 20 minutes later, all the lights came back on.

    Bands I saw:

    Carbon Leaf (Miller Stage) – Carbon Leaf rocked. They have yet to put on a bad show. While they played many of their hits and several unknown songs from their upcomming CD, they didn’t play many of the ones I had hoped to hear. Nevertheless it was great to hear them again as it had been over a year since I had last seen them.

    Blue Oyster Cult (Rock Stage) – I’m probably in the odd positions of liking many of the lesser known songs of this band (Heavy Metal the Black and Silver, Black Blade, Joan Crawford has Risen from the Grave, Veteran of a Thousand Psychic Wars, etc) while hating their two biggest hits (Don’t fear the Reaper, and Burning for You).

    In short I went in as a fan of their older stuff and not as someone who had heard nothing other than Godzillia and the two aforementioned hits. I was really hoping to have a good time there. Unfortunately, I thought the show sucked. There was no life, no energy, no ambience to their sound. It felt like they were just going through the motions….what I like to call ‘musical masterbation’. I left before the show was over. When you look around during a bands best known song and all you see are people with their arms crossed in front of them tapping a foot or sipping their beer, you know it’s not you that’s the problem, it’s the band. Too bad, because as I said, I really like a lot of songs from Blue Oyster Cult…but you won’t get me to see them live again.

    Summary of day 1(star rating out of 5)

    People Watching *****
    Music ***
    Food ****
    Personal Drunkeness ***
    Observed Drunkeness **
    Overall ****

    Summerfest

    Jul 12

    Posted by Craig in Music, Personal | No Comments

    For those of you not from Milwaukee, we have an annual little music festival here each year called Summerfest. Ok, so it isn’t quite so little, and this year they had probably the best line up for me personally in it’s history.

    Yes, much of it was late 70′s or 80′s rock bands, but there seems to be a resurgence on 80′s nostalgia right now so I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts. Out of the 11 day Summerfest run I went 5 days. I’ll post some small reviews of each day (if I remember details from that day, which is no given thing when Summerfest is involved)

    Hello

    Jul 12

    Posted by Craig in Personal | 1 Comment

    Well, I guess people do actually read this thing from time to time. So, what I have learned in the last month?

    1. If you don’t update your blog, the people who do read it will complain.
    2. Linking to your blog from your MySpace page will attract tons and tons of spambots to your blog’s comment section, most of which seem to be hawking Viagra or Cialas, which seems odd to me since I’ve read Viagra is the most prescribed drug in the world today.

    A quick comment on the lack of updates. The main issue is I haven’t had time to write much original/satirical stuff over the last month simply due to summertime fun activities. I could have written about what I *was* doing, but that always seems boring to me, though perhaps it is not to others, so I will make an effort to include more mundane topics and thoughts in the future.

    The Gaze

    May 19

    Posted by Craig in Personal | No Comments

    I sense the gaze upon me.
    Silent, still, unmoving.
    Caring not that I have noticed it
    No change. No Quarter.
    If there is malice, it is well veiled
    behind eyes unblinking.
    I am but an object.
    Considered.
    Regarded.
    Studied.
    To what end? To What purpose?
    The gaze does not answer.
    It never answers.
    I become one with the silence
    But it’s embrace does not shield me.
    I move from light to shadow
    The darkness does not cloak me
    I can only confront it.

    ‘Hey!, Knock it off!’, I say.
    The gaze is broken.
    The gazer now wants to be petted.
    Stupid cat.

    Sullivan Ballou

    May 11

    Posted by Craig in Personal | No Comments

    I’ve developed a taste for history over the last few years, which is odd considering in high school I thought it a boring and pointless subject. Foolish youth–’nuff said.

    Anyway, due to this interest,I recently filled my Netflix queue with several historical documentaries and started receiving these last week. One of the documentaries I ordered was the Ken Burns PBS documentary on the Civil War. I watched the first DVD (of three) last night and while it was excellent in all aspects, the closing of the first DVD was of a narrator reading a letter from one Sullivan Ballou, a union soldier, written to his wife shortly before the Battle of Bull Run was to take place.

    This letter (which I have since found is considered one of the most famous of any written during the civil war) simply left me stunned. After some reflection, I realize there were two primary reactions I had to this letter.

    The first thing that struck me was the quality of the writing. Perhaps a perfect piece of writing if perfection could ever be aptly defined. I immediately wondered if this letter was typical of the writing style and content of the period. After some research on the man, I found out he was indeed well educated, a lawyer schooled in Rhode Island, yet this letter is not considered an uncommon example of those written in that period.

    How far have we fallen in this day and age of technology and instant messaging. To think that it was commonplace to write with the clarity, elegance, and succinctness found in this letter back then. The well written word is indeed a rarity today and a dying art.

    The second thing which struck me was the sheer emotional power of the letter. Of this I speak primarily of the second half of the letter which is perhaps one of the most beautiful love letters I have ever seen. This is poety in the guise of prose.

    Following is the letter in its entirety:

    July the 14th, 1861

    Washington DC

    My very dear Sarah:

    The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days – perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write you again, I feel impelled to write lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more.

    Our movement may be one of a few days duration and full of pleasure – and it may be one of severe conflict and death to me. Not my will, but thine 0 God, be done. If it is necessary that I should fall on the battlefield for my country, I am ready. I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in, the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter. I know how strongly American Civilization now leans upon the triumph of the Government, and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and suffering of the Revolution. And I am willing – perfectly willing – to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain this Government, and to pay that debt.

    But, my dear wife, when I know that with my own joys I lay down nearly all of yours, and replace them in this life with cares and sorrows – when, after having eaten for long years the bitter fruit of orphanage myself, I must offer it as their only sustenance to my dear little children – is it weak or dishonorable, while the banner of my purpose floats calmly and proudly in the breeze, that my unbounded love for you, my darling wife and children, should struggle in fierce, though useless, contest with my love of country?

    I cannot describe to you my feelings on this calm summer night, when two thousand men are sleeping around me, many of them enjoying the last, perhaps, before that of death — and I, suspicious that Death is creeping behind me with his fatal dart, am communing with God, my country, and thee.

    I have sought most closely and diligently, and often in my breast, for a wrong motive in thus hazarding the happiness of those I loved and I could not find one. A pure love of my country and of the principles have often advocated before the people and “the name of honor that I love more than I fear death” have called upon me, and I have obeyed.

    Sarah, my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me to you with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me irresistibly on with all these chains to the battlefield.

    The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God and to you that I have enjoyed them so long. And hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when God willing, we might still have lived and loved together and seen our sons grow up to honorable manhood around us. I have, I know, but few and small claims upon Divine Providence, but something whispers to me – perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little Edgar — that I shall return to my loved ones unharmed. If I do not, my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will whisper your name.

    Forgive my many faults, and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have oftentimes been! How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness, and struggle with all the misfortune of this world, to shield you and my children from harm. But I cannot. I must watch you from the spirit land and hover near you, while you buffet the storms with your precious little freight, and wait with sad patience till we meet to part no more.

    But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the garish day and in the darkest night — amidst your happiest scenes and gloomiest hours – always, always; and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath; or the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by.

    Sarah, do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again.

    As for my little boys, they will grow as I have done, and never know a father’s love and care. Little Willie is too young to remember me long, and my blue eyed Edgar will keep my frolics with him among the dimmest memories of his childhood. Sarah, I have unlimited confidence in your maternal care and your development of their characters. Tell my two mothers his and hers I call God’s blessing upon them. O Sarah, I wait for you there! Come to me, and lead thither my children.

    Sullivan

    Sullivan Ballou died about a week after writing this letter due to injuries he suffered in the Battle of Bull Run.